Still Chugging Along in India

Thursday, Nov. 3, Kumbalam/Kundara/Kollam/Tangasseri

Rosalind invited me to come to see her in Tangassari. She lives at the school annex there with her husband, their son, and her mother. She suggested that I come after lunch. I always find invitations here to be somewhat uncertain. Is the invitation only for the afternoon? Does she want me to stay for dinner? Her English is okay, but it’s limited. She (and others, too) doesn’t communicate completely. And if I ask questions, I get answers that don’t match indicating that they haven’t really comprehended what I am asking. (For instance, if I ask a “which” question, I always get a “yes” response.)

Anyway, I left Kumbalam at 9:40 on the bus to Kundara. There, I went to the cyber café for an hour. Next, I caught a bus to Kollam. I got off near the computer place where Joseph plans to buy the computers. I hoped the owner or the technician who came to the school with him would be there so I could ask them if they know any potential applicants for our job, but they weren’t Instead, I left a message. I bought some sweets at a bakery there to take to Rosalind and began walking toward Tangasseri while looking for a restaurant. I never found a decent restaurant, so I finally stopped at a small, but very clean bakery, very close to the school. They had small (4 inch/10 cm) Pizzas with tandoori chicken, onions, bell pepper and tomato slices on top. I bought one of those and ate it there.

I stopped to take photos at the old fortress, the beach, and the lighthouse. Three boys who attend the school were playing in the stret and walked with me. (It’s another Hindu holiday, so there was no school today.) Rosalind was eating when I arrived. Although I told her I had already eaten, she said she had prepared some vegetables for me to try. So I ate small helpings of rice and of three vegetable dishes. It was spicy and delicious as usual.

Her son has 3 baby kittens as pets. They are so tiny and cute! I held one in my lap as we visited. I’m still not sure of the purpose of my visit even now that it is over. We talked about a teacher who is ill. Rosalind is concerned that Joseph is expecting so much of her. We also discussed the fact that she would like Joseph to build up the computer lab on the Tangassari campus at the same time that he upgrades the computer lab here in Kumbalam. Maybe she wants me to help her commicate things like this to Joseph. However, she also had some computer questions. And I can tell she likes me. So maybe she just wanted to be sure I was entertained and not bored on a holiday afternoon.

I hope I didn’t offend her when I left. I don’t know the bus schedule for Kumbalam, and I don’t want to walk the narrow road from Kundara to Kumbalam in the dark. I left Tangasseri about 4:45. I hope she wasn’t wanting me to stay for dinner. The timing, however, was perfect. I caught a bus to Kundara, and five minutes after arriving there, a bus for Kumbalam picked me up! That’s good, because even getting buses all the way, I arrived at the school at 6:05, just 5-10 minutes before it is dark here.

Everyone was gone when I arrived. I don’t know where they are. A man was waiting for me with keys. He let me into the gate and the hostel and then asked me to go back and let him out at the gate. About 1½ hours later Pragosh showed up, but he was also surprised to find eveyone gone. There’s no note. I’m just glad Pragosh showed up, because that relieves me from having to listen for the car at the gate. Pragosh will watch out for their return and go to open the gate for them. It’s now 8 p.m., so they should be back within an hour.
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They all returned about 8:10. They had been together to a funeral. Unfortunately, one of the girls created problems: She contradicted a nun while pinting a finger in her face. And she picked lice out of her hair and showed them to everyone. So we all sat through a 30-minute discussion of proper behavior tonight. The girl is to think overnight and submit a plan on paper tomorrow of what she will do to deal with the problems she created. But the discussion went further. Premila, the cook, thinks Joseph is too lenient on the children by trying to discuss what is wrong and get them to think about it and make a plan. She was raising her voice in complaint to Joseph that he should be more strict and should give punishment when they do something wrong.

Friday, Nov. 4, Kumbalam

Well, today was declared a holiday to correct the fact that they guessed wrong regarding yesterday. Apparently, there must be a holiday on the day there is a special configuration of the moon and a star. When they make the calendar, they make it based on the day they THINK this configuration will occur. However, a group of muslim men watches to determine if the moon and star have the right formation. If not, it means it will happen the next night and the next day is also declared a holiday. Anyway, having Friday as a holiday creates problems. Some teachers have tests they were completing by putting drawings into them. Testing starts on Monday. We plan to duplicate the tests for the students this weekend to have them ready. But the teachers who have tests are not going to bring them today, I’m sure. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to care enough to worry about things like that. There will be a mess on Monday, and only Joseph and I will care.
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Today has been a horrible day. There was another meeting of the hostel kids and of a non-hostel student who didn’t come to dance practice yesterday to talk about responsibility. I am never comfortable in these meetings.

A teacher who called last night to say she was coming today at 10:00 with a job candidate didn’t appear until 10:45. By then, Joseph had left to visit 3 families in the village who had deaths last night. She came to the office where I was working. Although I had no idea of the location of the homes where Joseph might be, she seemed to expect me to find him. She said that there was a death in her family, too, and that they had to be back for the funeral at 12:00. The candidate, I found out, is a relative who can’t speak English. Yet they want her to have a job at this school which requires instruction in English! Anyway, I walked them back to the hostel to ask Premila if she knew what home Joseph had gone to. Then I sent Jerry there to get him. When Jerry returned, he said they told him Joseph had gone to the church. The teacher didn’t know where the church is, so I rushed off to find Joseph, upset that I was losing time on the work I had planned to do and that I was dressed only in shorts and a dirty shirt which are inappropriate attire to wear when entering a church here. I found Joseph, fortunately, at a fruit stand rather than the church and brought him back. The teacher and her relative didn’t leave here until 12:45. Was there a funeral, or was it a lie to assure that Joseph would see the job candidate? (Tied to it all was the fact that Joseph had already told me that teacher would come on Friday whether there was school or not, because she had discussed having him give her an advance on her salary. So was her insistance on seeing Joseph because she wanted the money? I’ve seen other examples here of people not seeming to consider others’ feelings and needs before their own here.)

Next, I gave Joseph a report of the tests we don’t have because teachers took them to make darawings, to write in Malayalam or Hindi, or to revise them. He had no idea there was a problem. He tried to call Rosalind to see when she is coming here and was told she was at the copy center. He had been told the same thing earlier, and he reported to me that he had been told that twice the other day before we went to the center, and they told him there at the center that they hadn’t seen her all day. He is upset that he can’t reach her and that “being at the center” seems to be an excuse for when she is doing something else.

Things were building up, and he was getting upset. The last straw was discovering that the girl in trouble yesterday had not made a plan for remedying the problems she created. He took her to the office and yelled at her and spanked her.

It’s only 2 p.m., and the day seems to have lasted forever. I’m waiting on Rosalind’s arrival while Joseph has gone to the home of a teacher whose aunt (who lives in the home with the teacher) has died. I’ve got some ideas for Rosalind to consider regarding the problems with the tests. With all the tension around here, however, I wish I could disappear for a few days!
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It’s now 7 p.m. and it’s still a BAD day. Joseph left at 3:45 to take the kids to Kollam for basketball practice at the YMCA. He left me to be here when Rosalind arrived. That was about 5:30. I had to sit and listen as she called him. They fussed back and forth and she cried. The phone call lasted at least 40 minutes. It was horrible to hear it. Even though it was in Malayalam which I don’t understand, I could hear the tone of her voice with its pain and frustration. On the way here, she fell on her bicycle and cut her heel and tore her dress (one of her best ones). Anyway, we gathered the tests that I had typed and just as I was walking her to the bus stop, Joseph arrived. They are outside talking now (or maybing yelling). I made the kids come inside so they would have some privacy, and I am inside watching them.

I find myself wanting to leave again. All this tension with fussing and spanking is horrible to have to live with. How I wish tomorrow were a school day so everyone could be busy. The bad times tend to happen on non-school days. And there are still two more days before we have school again!

Saturday, Nov. 5, Kumbalam

I awoke to yelling, spanking and crying this morning. It just seems as if it will never end! Abin’s father has invited me to their home next Saturday, so I want to hang on here until then if possible. He will come on his motorcycle to get us. I imagine there will be school every Saturday starting next week; I think they have to have school every Saturday through the end of December because of strike days and extra holidays that have eaten away at the required 200-days-per-year of classes. If there are any more stike days, there will have to be Sunday school days, too. I’ll go back to working on scope and sequence charts this week and see how the days go.
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I had dressed in shorts and t-shirt and started working casually on the biology scope and sequence chart when I noticed one of the kids was dressed well. I asked why, and he said it was for school. Joseph decided last night that today would be a school day. I had no idea. So I changed into my school clothes.

Only about 90 of the 270 kids showed up today, and only 3 teachers came. Joseph has combined 2-3 grade levels into one. We are doing a review for the exams they will take beginning on Monday. Joseph is conducting the English review for the first two hours, and I will conduct the math review the next two hours for the 5th, 6th, and 7th standards. It’s actually good this is happening, because I have been worried that there are basic things the students don’t REALLY know that could create problems for them on their tests. I will concentrate on trying to re-teach those things. Their problem, I have observed, is that they do not THINK about anything they are learning. They want to just hear it and memorize it. That seems to be the Indian way. How any people here ever become computer programmers is amazing considering that. Programming is based on thinking and reasoning. These kids can tell you that a right angle has 90 degrees and that it is a square corner, but show them drawings of various angles, and they cannot visually pick out the ones that are right angles. They have never thought about what “square corner” means or noticed what shape occurs when they have drawn a 90 degree angle. That’s just one example of what I mean by memorizing and not really learning.

The rain began about 1 p.m.—heavy northeast monsoon rains that were continuous. As I made trips back and forth to print things, I just quit wearing my shoes. The water was 2-3 inches (5-7.5 cm) deep in many places, so the shoes would have just gotten sloppy wet.

Finally, I just stayed at the hostel. I read for a while, then I became sleepy. I napped for 45 minutes. It was a deep sleep. I know I haven’t been sleeping enough lately with the yelling that starts around 5 a.m. each morning, so I guess I needed the nap.
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There was more yelling tonight. Rosalind came over after work, and the cook yelled at her. I heard the name “Pragosh.” That’s the cook’s brother. My guess is that the cook was upset that Joseph sent Pragosh to drive Rosalind home last night. It’s not proper in India for an unmarried man and a married woman to be alone together.

The children are studying for their exams for next week. Joseph had them studying for the ones they will take on Monday. Math exams aren’t until Wednesday and Thursday, so no one was studying math. I spent most of the evening reading. I’m reading a book every 7-8 days, and I only have four more books. I’ll need to find a bookstore and buy more.

Sunday, Nov. 6, Kumbalam

Jerry is one of my favorite kids at the hostel. He’s 14. He speaks English better than the others, and is quick at learningmath. He’s the only boy at the hostel who has gone through puberty, and he’s proud of the small moustache on his upper lip. What makes him so likeable is his shyness and the way he expresses it. Last week, we had to borrow a book from a girl in his class. He wouldn’t go inside the fence. He peaked over it while I went inside to ask. When I teased him about it, I got his usual reaction, a high-pitched shreek (somewhat like a mouse squeel). When he makes this sound, he shrugs his shoulders and widens his eyes.s

Although he’s a teenager who makes mistakes (like writing love notes to a girl—a big no-no in India which can ruin a girl’s reputation and cause her to become unmarriageable—and leaving a mess in the shower or in his room), he is remarkably responsible. He rides one of the buses for 2 hours each morning and again each afternoon to help kids get on and off. He watches out for the others from the hostel when we go places. He runs errands and opens gates for Joseph.

Joseph is exactly what Jery needs. He was a street child abandoned by a family paid to take care of him and his sister who is also here, when he was brought to St. Joseph. His father is dead, and his mother is living and working in the Middle East with his father’s brother. Joseph is the surrogate parent. Jerry and his sister are the only hostel kids who are ALWAYS here. They have no place to go, and they have no one to help them. They have no spending money. Their mother pays for the school, but they are dependent upon Joseph for all their needs.

I wish Jerry had professional ambitions, but he doesn’t. He even told Joseph recently when they had a spat that he would like to leave school. He told me he would like to drive a lorry (transport truck) or a bus. I’ve been trying to discuss how important a good education can be for him in terms of increasing his standard of living and happiness. I’m afraid that the most we can hope for is that he will stay here to complete 10th Standard (the end of high school here). He’s in 7th Standard this year.

Puberty is creating some problems for him, but it’s nothing like what kids get into in America. He got into trouble trying to touch his roomate while he slept; now he has a room on his own and goes to the toilet stall for 30 minutes each night. The notes to the girl stopped, and I get his cute shreek if I try to talk to him about them. Essentially, he’s a better-than-average kid, and I’m hoping for the best for him.
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Joseph and I missed a Hindu wedding today. He forgot about it, and I didn’t know it was as early as it was. When they returned from church about 9:45, I asked him about it. We had missed the processional from the home at 8 a.m. and were missing the ceremony which started at 9:30. It’s not acceptable to go only for the luncheon, so we missed it all. It was the wedding of the brother of one of the teachers, and she will be upset that we weren’t there.

I’ve helped the students study most of the day. It’s mostly silly repetition of memorized responses. It’s a real disappointment to observe how little learning is occurring. I asked one boy to read a paragraph from the novel I’m reading. He orally read it perfectly. When I asked what it meant, he shrugged. There hadn’t even been an attempt to comprehend it. Even in math, things aren’t understood. Everything is memorized. I spent yesterday trying to teach them WHAT an angle is. They have been studying angles for weeks, but I could tell they still had no idea that it is the sweep between the two rays. They couldn’t eyeball an angle and tell me whether it was a right, an acute, or an obtuse angle because they didn’t really know what to look at—what an angle is. They could quote perfect definitions for each kind of angle, however.
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It was a long day. There was more yelling as the evening arrived. I’m so tired of being around it. We should have 6 days of school in a row this week. I hope that makes things better.

I’m also getting tired of the food here. It’s too bland and we have the same things too often. Last night for dinner and today for lunch we had the soybean fake meat which I dislike the most. I had to force it down, then I burped it up for hours. Breakfasts tend to be the best meals. Lunch and dinner consist too often of bland vegetable dishes and the rice which I also find to be bland here. They’re usually the most flavorful when we have the yogurt-tomato-onion sauce to go with it all. Thank goodness there was no more soy meat tonight, and we were given the yogurt sauce instead.

Monday, Nov. 7, Kumbalam

I worked hard in the morning. I organized and typed the bilogy scope and sequence chart. I added more to the English S&S Chrt, and I interviewed a candidate for the computer job and gave her a couple of tasked to do on the computer to test her skills.

I took off the afternoon to go to the cyber café. It was a mistake. The owner was gone to Kollam for the day. I went to another place that had such a slow connection that I only read 4 e-mails and wrote one e-mail over 20 minute. It never opened Blogger far enough for me to post my blog. It was a frsutrating experience. I did get some things I wanted from the supermarket, however. And three college boys walked about halfway back to Kumbalam with me visiting along the way.

I was told I looked bad today. Actually, I’m tired. I couldn’t get to sleep until 10:30 last night. And all the noise early in the mornng here wakes me up every day. I hope I can sleep tonight.

I finished Atlantic Shift by Emily Barr tonight. I gave it 2 stars out of 4. It was a rather simple book that would make a Class B independent film or a made-for-TV film starring a TV actress who has never made a feature film before. Also, the main character wasn’t very likeable; she admitted throughout the story that she was a fake and that all her actions were fake.
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Tonight I asked Joseph about a woman who came into the office today. I first met her about 3 weeks ago. Then, she walked into the office and started talking about my becoming a sponsor of a child in India. This time, she hinted that there are things going on at this school that aren’t right. She told me, “You don’t know nothing, do you?” She gave me her phone number and told me to call her so she could tell me about it. And she warned, “That’s a private number, don’t give it to anyone!” Joseph confirmed that she’s strange. He said that she was accusing the man who runs our office of trying to kiss her this morning. Then she insisted on removing her child from this school. She asked Joseph to bless the child before she took her, and after he did that she said, “I can’t take the child now that you have blessed her.” And she returned the child to the classroom. I hope I don’t have any more encounters with this lady while I am here.

Tuesday, Nov. 8, Kumbalam

Rosalind is worried about me. For two days now, she has asked if there is a problem. Essentially, I’m tired from having my sleep interrupted by yelling and other noises. But I’m also a little depressed, I guess (also because of all the yelling). Apparently it shows. I hope going away to visit Abin’s family this Saturday will help. And I probably should plan another weekend on my own somewhere the next weekend.

We hired a computer teacher today. He’s a nice young man and seems competent. He has a nice personality, too. His father died recently, so he now has the responsibility of supporting his mother. He lives near here, so he should be a reliable, long-term employee. I spent much of my day with him—interviewing him, howing him the lob, telling him about our plans, and going to Kollam with him and Joseph to see about ordering the computers for the lab.

While in Kollam, I asked Joseph to take me to an office supply store. Tomorrow is Rosaland’s birthday. She carries a plastic bag each day with papers in it. I bought her a plastic folder that closes with velcro and a plastic locking case with multiple compartments for paper. Being plastic, both will be waterproof. And each will be more professional looking than the plastic bag with advertizing on it. The children have made her a card. And Joseph bought her a sari to replace the one she tore over the weekend. It should all be a nice surprise for her tomorrow. We’ll give them to her before the entire school during opening assembly tomorrow morning at 8:30.

Wednesday, Nov. 9, Kumbalam

There are so many ups and downs here. The computer teacher we were so excited about didn’t come to work today. He should be here from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. At 10:45 Rosalind called his home. His mother told her she told him not to come to work today because he was here so late yesterday. He’s 34 years old!! And we dropped him at his SECOND bus stop at 6:40 last night; he wouldn’t have gotten there any earlier if he had stayed on campus until 6:00 and taken his first bus from here. Everyone seems to consider Joseph as a Sugar Daddy who will let them do whatever they want while still paying them their salaries. It’s ridiculous.
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I went to the cyber café again this afternoon and was unsuccessful again. The diskettes just aren’t going to work again. When I returned, I checked the office computer. It has a CD-RW drive, so I will buy a re-writable CD and see if that will work for taking blog postings and e-mails to the cyber café.
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I can’t believe it. Tomorrow has been named a holiday!! Between strikes and holidays, I don’t think we’ve had a week with 5 days of school since I got here 5 ½ weeks ago! This time, it’s because a former president of the country died today. It creates lots of problems for us. First, tomorrow was to be the last day of mid-term exams. Now it will be changed to Friday. But Friday is the day the dance team is to be gone to competition. Will they still go? Also, this probably means school for both a Saturday and a Sunday some weekend in the future to make up for the lost day. Worse for me is that tomorrow now becomes one of those days that seems to last forever, since the kids have no school and get bored and restless.

I had an e-mail from a former volunteer today. I’m not sure how she got my e-mail address, but my guess is that it may have come from the English teacher who was fired (although I’m not sure how he would have gotten it either unless he has found my blog which is possible with special searching). (Technically, he resigned, but he had no other choice.) Anyway, she was obviously disillusioned with the school. Of course, I’m not sure what she expected. I knew not to expect a TRUE international school. She expressed concern about teachers leaving when she was here, but I haven’t experience that; the only one that has left was the one who needed to be dismissed. Anyway, I wrote back letting her know I had my own concerns (my confinement/all the yelling) but am still here. She was here for 3 months and is now volunteering somewhere else in India.

Thursday, Nov. 10, Kumbalam

I had vivid dreams last night thanks to mefloquine, my anti-malarial drug. I dreamed I was back in San Antonio. Jay was at the pool. My apartment was high-rise. I was so skinny I could touch fingertips and thumbs of my hands when I put them around my waist.

Actually, I am thin, but not that thin. As usual, I lost down to about 165-170 lbs. (75 kg) during the first 4-5 weeks of my travel. Now I am staying the same. Even all the vegetarian meals with no desserts have not caused me to lose any more weight. I feel good at this level, however, and wish I could maintain it in the U.S.

I was bored throughout the morning. I spent much of it in my room napping and reading. Then Joseph gave me an assignment that made the day much better. He asked me to go to Kollam and have signs made with the school’s name, location, and phone number on them for putting on the back and side windows of the SUV. He wanted everyone to know where they are from as he takes the dance group to Ernakulam to perform in the competition. The driver Sonny rushed me there, we got the signs, and he rushed me back. It was an exciting drive. In 25 minutes, we covered the one-way distance in heavy traffic that Joseph takes 40-45 minutes to cover!

I’ve been left in charge along with Prameela until Joseph returns late tomorrow night. Of course, that means that Prameela will be in charge most of the time, yelling at everyone. But she is going home tomorrow afternoon and will leave us alone for the evening. Several of the girls are on the trip, so there are only 6 children still at the hostel.

I’ve started reading Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre. It’s really a different kind of book. The main character is an intelligent teenage boy from a lower-class Texas family whose best friend has just killed several people at school in a shotting rampage. The boy is being acused as an accessory just because he was friends with the shooter and has not satisfactorily accounted for his whereabouts at the time the violence occurred. With all that seriousness, it’s a surprisingly funny book with the humor and the story coming mostly through the thoughts of the boy.

Friday, Nov. 11, Kumbalam

Today is the last of the mid-term exam days. I’m glad they are ending, because I don’t like watching the kids just memorizing without understanding anything. Since it’s an exam day, there won’t be any homework. Therefore, I’ve developed a plan for the evening to keep the kids occupied and not getting bored and restless. Joseph likes them to write, and one boy started telling me about his ambitions last night. I decided to make “My Ambitions” a writing topic for tonight. When school is out this afternoon, we’ll start the brainstorming process. As the evening progresses, they can make an outline and write their papers. I also plan to let them watch a film. They can review the schedule in the paper and select one they want to watch.

Prameela is yelling up a storm today. She likes to be in charge, but she’s miserable when she is. I got up early to take the kids to exercise (stretching and warm-up activities and basketball) the way Joseph usually does, but she said Joseph left instructions for them to study. I question that, because Joseph took them out on the other test days. He probably just figured I would be sleeping or in my room and wouldn’t want to take them out and told her they could study. He should have communicated better with me before leaving. Anyway, I closed my door and let her yell away. Thank goodness she will be gone tonight. Her yelling causes my stomach to knot up.

I’m having a skin problem. A patch of dry skin (psoriasis?) about the size of a penny has developed below my left eyebrow. It just got dry one day and the outer skin flaked off. Now it is dry each day with a few flakes of skin. The only cream I have is suntan lotion. I’ve put some of that on it, but it’s still flaky after a week. I’m not sure what else to do, but today I have started using Chapstick on it in case that will help.

The computer teacher didn’t show up at work again today. It seems to be an indication that he doesn’t want the job. I guess that is better than having to deal with him later. It’s too bad he didn’t work out, however. He has the potential to be good at the job. I hope he’s not out looking for another job with the idea that he can come back here next week and this job will be here. If he does, I will strongly discourage Joseph from keeping him because he would likely continue to look for another job and leave as soon as he found one paying a little bit more. I went ahead and spent the day today working on the scope and sequence chart for the present computer instructional program. It will help whoever is eventually hired to evaluate the weaknesses of the program and suggest changes.

Saturday, Nov. 12, Kumbalam

What a miserable night. The man waiting up to let Joseph into the gate when he and the dancers returned from out of town smoked strong cigarettes from midnight until about 2:30. The smell was so bad that it awakened me over and over. Then there was the noise of arrival.

This morning didn’t turn out as I had planned. I had been told by Rosalind that there was no teacher work day as there usually is on the second Saturday of each month. I planned to go to Kundara after breakfast to update my blog and to buy some chocolates or something as a gift for the Thomases. But Joseph asked if I could do something for the teachers. They were arriving at 9:00 and needed a workshop until 2:00! I quickly abandoned my plans and developed a program for the workshop which involved Joseph doing a big part of it. I didn’t have anything I thought I could do for that long, and I didn’t want to let him off the hook. For the Thomases, I had to put a package of cheap cookies I already had into my bag.

The teacher workshop went until 2:00. Then the PTO meeting was from 3:30 to 5:30. It was a long, tiring day. The PTO meeting was all in Malayalam, so it was rather boring for me. The procedure was interesting, though. Parents stood and expressed their concerns. When all were finished, Joseph responded. I was a lot like a town hall meeting in America.

Mr. Thomas brought Abin and me to their home after the PTO meeting on his motor cycle. It’s in Kallada, a pretty area with lakes just north of Kumbalam. The house is new and nice. I’m staying upstairs where there are two bedrooms, a bath, and a sitting area. I’m not sure how many rooms are downstairs, but they seem to all live down there normally. It was dark when we arrived, so I haven’t seen the neighborhood. The home is on a country road, however.

Abin became a different boy when he entered the house. He has spent all his time watching TV or playing with his father’s mobile phone. He didn’t eat more than 3-4 bites of his dinner. He had snacked on wheat chips, sesame seed balls, and banana chips earlier. And he ate a candy bar after leaving the table. I can see why they want him at the hostel. I don’t think he would ever study at home. I thought he would be excited to show me things, but he has mostly ignored me.

Dinner was rice with lots of small dishes—dal sauce, coconut sauce, beef curry, fish curry, and fried fish. For dessert, we had the noodle dish that is like rice pudding. It was all very tasty and good. As usual here, they wanted me to eat more than I could

Sunday, Nov. 13, Kallada

It was very quiet at the Thomas house last night. I slept well, at least until 5 a.m. when I began hearing music from a nearby temple.

Apparently it’s common to have a late dinner and go straight to bed. That’s what we did last night, and that’s what we do at the hostel and did when I went to the wedding with Joseph.

I was cleaned and dressed when Mr. Thomas brought me a glass of tea at 6:45. While they worked on things, Abin took me walking. It’s a beautiful area filled with lush plants. The roadways are red clay and narrow. The homes are all quite nice and middle class looking. Everyone was so friendly, including a +2 (junior college) student named Abin Jones who visited with us as we passed his home and then caught up with us on his bike and visited some more.

Mrs. Thomas served us dosa with coconut chutney. As everywhere I’ve been in Kerala, only the men sat and ate. She continued cooking and served us. Also as usual, she encouraged me to eat more and more and more.

Abin and I left for church at 8:15. The Thomases arrived later. It’s a Syrian Orthodox Church. The building is nice. There are arched windows filled with formed bricks with holes making nice patterns. As the sun rises, rays of sunshine stream through these holes. There are 3 large arches at the front of the sancturary with red, green, and gold curtains hanging behind them. In front of the curtains is a communion table where seminarians were leading chanting when we arrived. After a while, the middle curtain opened to show the alter with the priest knealing facing it.

There was much pagentry to the service. A seminarian was swinging an incense burner almost constantly. All the service except the sermon and a letter from the bishop was done through chanting. There were two tamborine-type instruments at the ends of long poles that were used at times. They were metal disks with small bells attached around the edges, and seminarians shook them in either a slow or fast beat.

The service was already going when we arrived, and it continued for another two hours! The congregation stood at least 1½ hours of that time. Males were on the left and females on the right. Children were in the front rows. I sat there with Abin.

Several people were friendly after the service. One boy, in particular, spoke English well and visited with me. A young man visiting home from his work in Brunei did, too. Some of the dacons invited me into their church office for tea and then made a plea for me to help them with paying off their new building.

I’ve spent the late morning and early afternoon reading and writing. It’s so peaceful here. Abin rode his father’s motor cycle in the neighborhood. Mr. Thomas took care of their cow, washed clothes, and did other chores. It was interesting to see a man doing domestic chores here; I wasn’t sure that would happen, but he says it is becoming more common.

Abin has been one of my favorites at the hostel. In general, he’s a sweet, nice boy there. Occasionally he loses control and goes a little wild. At those times, it’s hard to get his attention and bring him back under control. I can see why now. At home, he’s essentially a spoiled boy who tends to get his way. I like him better at the hostel than I do at his home.

Being prepubescent (age 12), Abin is still a loveable kid to most people. He usually walks up to me and gives me a hug sometime each day. He always tries to get the chair beside me at the dining table or to sit beside me elsewhere. He grabs me and pretends to be fearful when the power fails. He puts his head in my lap when we all lounge on the front porch. He likes me and tries to please me. He could, however, be more serious about his school work and more careful when doing it. And he ceases to be loveable when he loses contol and starts chasing people, hitting at them, and yelling.
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In the afternoon, we went to a nearby river to watch longboat races. It was exciting—similar to what I have seen in Thailand, but not as organized nor as colorful. Then we stopped by an area lake. Later, we went to the nearest shopping area for several things. One was a chicken. We picked out a live chicken, and then the shop owner killed it, plucked it, and cut it up while we waited. We ate it two hours later for dinner.

One of the dogs ate my shoe for dinner. Shoes are always removed outside in India. A dog chewed off part of the tongue of one of my loafers and split the corner of the tongue of the other one. This is my only pair of shoes I have with me (along with a pair of sandals). I think they are wearable, but the one with part of the tongue missing is not pretty. These are my Clarks loafers I bought especially for traveling, so I hate to see them damaged.

Monday, Nov. 14, Kumbalam and Tangessari (Children’s Day)

Today is Nehru’s birthday. It is celebrated as Children’s Day throughout India. Schools do only two things this day each year: 1) Teach about Nehru, and 2) Have a program presented by the children to entertain everyone. No formal lessons are allowed, and no homework can be given. So it’s like another holiday or strike day as far as teaching/learning are concerned!

Abin and I caught the St. Joseph school bus at 7:45 this morning in front of his house. I worked about 45 minutes as they set up for the program this morning. Then I was called out to sit at the front with Joseph and the PTO President for the program which continued until 12:30. After that, we ate a quick lunch and headed to the Tangassari campus for their afternoon program. Students told about Nehru, sang songs, recited poems, danced, etc. The little ones were so cute! Jerry dressed up as Nehru for a skit where he was answering children’s questions; he was handsome in the Nehru suit and white cap!

Joseph has both parents and teachers upset with him right now. Everywhere we go, including to both programs today, people confront him with their concerns. Of course, none of them realize how hard his job is, nor do they care. It’s amazing what he has accomplished here in 3 years. At the same time, it is such a complex operation that it seems like a house of cards that could collapse at any time.

The English treacher at Tangasseri sought me out after the program. We had visited professionally, but it was our first time for a casual visit. He specifically asked how I am enjoying being here. It makes me wonder if either Rosalind has told him I’ve been unhappy or if he has been communicating with the dismissed Engish teacher from Kumbalam and wanted to try to get information out of me. Anyway, the conversation was friendly, and he suggested that we should go to Kovalam Beach one weekend. As I questioned him further and said I would pay for the gas for his cycle if we went, he suggested that we go this Sunday. As we tried to plan it, I realized that he would like to make an early start, and I wasn’t sure if a bus would get me to Kollam earlier than 9:30 on a Sunday. I know he teaches on Saturday, but I asked if we could go late Saturday afternoon saying I would pay for a room for us. I was surprised at the response. He said he will have to get his parents’ permission and he’s not sure that they will give it! I don’t know his age, but he has a college degree. Furthermore, he’s engaged to be married in an arranged marriage. Because he lives at home, however, he is expected to obey his parents no matter how old he is. I’m now thinking I might stay in a hotel in Kollam on Saturday night so we could get an early start on Sunday, or I might go to Varkala again on Friday and ask him to pick me up there on Sunday morning on the way down to Kovalam. I’ll talk to him later this week about it.

Another surprise came later as I talked to another teacher. Joseph was meeting with faculty, and it was 5:30 with darkness approaching by 6:00. The teacher visiting with me expressed concern about the hour. She said that some parents beat their adult children if they come home too late. Women are not supposed to be out after dark alone, or their reputation can be ruined!

Tuesday, Nov. 15, Kumbalam (Part I)

I can tell my opinion of Abin has changed since spending the weekend with his family. I didn’t like seeing him be the spoiled brat he was. He sat glued to the TV, ate only junk food without coming to the table at mealtime, took over his father’s mobile phone, and yelled back at his parents without giving in when they told him not to do something. He was a totally different boy from how he is at the hostel, but he’s no longer one of my favorites even here because of what I know about him. I’m trying to be friendly, but I just don’t feel like treating him special the way I did before. He’ll probably notice that I’ve become more distant. If he ever brings up the topic, I’ll tell him why.

As I went through my shirts, I found the one on the bottom of the stack was beginning to mildew. There has been so much rain lately. Plus, I may have put it there will still slightly damp; it’s hard to get clothes to totally dry here. There weren’t black spots yet, so that was good. I brushed off the white, powdery spots with me hand and then with the brush I use for the suede on my shoes. I’m wearing the shirt today. Up close, it still has a spotty look. I hope that disappears when I wash it again.